The Haunting
"The Haunting", with Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lili Taylor and Owen Wilson. Directed by Jan DeBont. Written by the late Shirley Jackson, adapted by David Self. MPAA rating PG-13 for intense weirdness, runtime 122 minutes.
1999 will likely go down in the books - at least my books - as the Summer of the Disappointing Moovie. "The Haunting", while certainly not the worst thing to come down the pike this summer, falls way short of its aim and into a newly recreated sub-genre of moovie: The Unnecessary Remake. (See also "The Wild, Wild West".) For what it's worth, I understand how a moovie producer could look at Shirley Jackson's novel from which the 1963 original "Haunting" was made, and in a fit of lustful greed that only Hollywood could inspire, think to themselves, "Hey, we could make this a lot better now - more FX, more computer stuff, big stars - this could be HUGE." What we got was terrific effects, an astounding setting, a pretty good cast and a totally mediocre moovie. I'm not particularly defending the original "Hill House", I'm just not sure why they couldn't have done a better job in putting this one together.
Liam Neeson is Dr. Jeffery Marrow, intent on studying why humans still have instinctive reactions to fear. His plan is to lure a few people into participating in an experiment by telling them he intends to study their insomnia. (Best line of the moovie: "You don't tell the rats they're in a maze".)
His subjects:
Eleanor Lance, "Nell" for short, (Lili Taylor) has spent the last eleven years caring for her invalid mother. Upon her mother's death she finds herself with nothing to do, nowhere to go and facing a life on indentured servitude with her sister. She receives a mysterious phone call pointing her toward a classified ad for Dr. Marrow's study and decides to give that a shot instead.
Theodora, "Theo" for short, (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is a high-octane, high maintenance "artist" who comes to the study to try and get some sleep.
Luke Sannerson (Owen Wilson) is a twitchy, Dennis Hopper-ish sort that looks and acts as though he's never slept a day in his life.
Beyond Nell's introduction to the house, I sort of dropped the ball here, and was on the verge of catching a few z's until something happened. Veteran director Jan DeBont (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon 3, Basic Instinct) must have sensed that I would be heading for the Motel 6 in my head about that time, and tossed in a couple of gratuitous Catherine Zeta-Jones cleavage shots. Nice try, but no good. CZJ's boobs weren't enough to bridge the gaps in pacing.
They tried so hard to make this thing creepy - you've just got to give them credit for the effort, but so much was borderline camp - for instance creepy old family retainer Mrs. Dudley (Marian Seldes). She spent what seemed a good five minutes in a Bergman close-up explaining to Nell how she and her husband left the spooky old mansion before it got dark, at night - when the darkness comes, and nobody will be able to help you - at night. Nell then reprises the whole thing again when Mrs. Dudley delivers the standard disclaimer to Theo. Why they didn't do it one more time with Luke is anyone's guess. Could've been genuinely funny.
Back to the plot: Big spooky house with a locked gate, three unsuspecting victims, a doctor who isn't telling all he knows and a big spooky house. Did I mention the big spooky house? As the previews might have suggested had I been paying the least bit of attention, the house is the actual star of this moovie. I can't tell you how much is real, how much is CGI, and how much is model, if any; but the house is the story. Two zillion rooms, each more elaborate than the next, hallways with a certain Neo-Gothic Giger-esque feel, and the sensation that the house is watching you - which it is. The house breathes, the house grabs people, the house kills people, the house scares people - but not you. You'll be sleeping soundly.
The actual story line is uninspired and comes and goes like a Dominoes delivery guy (Adam Sandler's day job) - and is just as unsatisfying. "The Haunting" is an on again, off again moovie that never really gets beyond being much more than an extended trailer. In fact, if you've seen the trailer for "The Haunting", you've already seen most of the best parts - plus, you've seen them in a condensed, more coherent version. Could've been fun, could've been scary, could've been a whole lot better.
One cow. In the dark. At night. Snoring.
1999 will likely go down in the books - at least my books - as the Summer of the Disappointing Moovie. "The Haunting", while certainly not the worst thing to come down the pike this summer, falls way short of its aim and into a newly recreated sub-genre of moovie: The Unnecessary Remake. (See also "The Wild, Wild West".) For what it's worth, I understand how a moovie producer could look at Shirley Jackson's novel from which the 1963 original "Haunting" was made, and in a fit of lustful greed that only Hollywood could inspire, think to themselves, "Hey, we could make this a lot better now - more FX, more computer stuff, big stars - this could be HUGE." What we got was terrific effects, an astounding setting, a pretty good cast and a totally mediocre moovie. I'm not particularly defending the original "Hill House", I'm just not sure why they couldn't have done a better job in putting this one together.
Liam Neeson is Dr. Jeffery Marrow, intent on studying why humans still have instinctive reactions to fear. His plan is to lure a few people into participating in an experiment by telling them he intends to study their insomnia. (Best line of the moovie: "You don't tell the rats they're in a maze".)
His subjects:
Eleanor Lance, "Nell" for short, (Lili Taylor) has spent the last eleven years caring for her invalid mother. Upon her mother's death she finds herself with nothing to do, nowhere to go and facing a life on indentured servitude with her sister. She receives a mysterious phone call pointing her toward a classified ad for Dr. Marrow's study and decides to give that a shot instead.
Theodora, "Theo" for short, (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is a high-octane, high maintenance "artist" who comes to the study to try and get some sleep.
Luke Sannerson (Owen Wilson) is a twitchy, Dennis Hopper-ish sort that looks and acts as though he's never slept a day in his life.
Beyond Nell's introduction to the house, I sort of dropped the ball here, and was on the verge of catching a few z's until something happened. Veteran director Jan DeBont (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon 3, Basic Instinct) must have sensed that I would be heading for the Motel 6 in my head about that time, and tossed in a couple of gratuitous Catherine Zeta-Jones cleavage shots. Nice try, but no good. CZJ's boobs weren't enough to bridge the gaps in pacing.
They tried so hard to make this thing creepy - you've just got to give them credit for the effort, but so much was borderline camp - for instance creepy old family retainer Mrs. Dudley (Marian Seldes). She spent what seemed a good five minutes in a Bergman close-up explaining to Nell how she and her husband left the spooky old mansion before it got dark, at night - when the darkness comes, and nobody will be able to help you - at night. Nell then reprises the whole thing again when Mrs. Dudley delivers the standard disclaimer to Theo. Why they didn't do it one more time with Luke is anyone's guess. Could've been genuinely funny.
Back to the plot: Big spooky house with a locked gate, three unsuspecting victims, a doctor who isn't telling all he knows and a big spooky house. Did I mention the big spooky house? As the previews might have suggested had I been paying the least bit of attention, the house is the actual star of this moovie. I can't tell you how much is real, how much is CGI, and how much is model, if any; but the house is the story. Two zillion rooms, each more elaborate than the next, hallways with a certain Neo-Gothic Giger-esque feel, and the sensation that the house is watching you - which it is. The house breathes, the house grabs people, the house kills people, the house scares people - but not you. You'll be sleeping soundly.
The actual story line is uninspired and comes and goes like a Dominoes delivery guy (Adam Sandler's day job) - and is just as unsatisfying. "The Haunting" is an on again, off again moovie that never really gets beyond being much more than an extended trailer. In fact, if you've seen the trailer for "The Haunting", you've already seen most of the best parts - plus, you've seen them in a condensed, more coherent version. Could've been fun, could've been scary, could've been a whole lot better.
One cow. In the dark. At night. Snoring.
