Gun Shy
Did you ever make up your mind to go to the moovies, and as you looked at the newspaper, come to realize that there just wasn't that much you couldn't live without seeing? Critics be damned, I would probably rather eat deep fried razor blades than watch two hours of Julia Roberts doing almost anything short of a naked tap dance while she juggles rabid ferrets. Obviously, "Erin Brockovitch" probably wasn't going to be my first choice. This not to say that I won't ever see "Brockovitch", just not today, thanks. I needed a laugh. After weeding out the Oscar-driven re-releases and the obvious throw-aways, I was left with "Gun Shy", with Liam Neeson, Oliver Platt, Sandra Bullock and Mitch Pileggi. Written and directed by Eric Blakeney. MPAA rating R, for violence, language, gardening and brief statuesque nudity. Run time 106 minutes.
If you can't visualize Liam Neeson as a comic actor, "Gun Shy" might not appeal you. If, however, you can approach this moovie with an open mind, and if, let's say, you don't mind more stereotypes than a KMart audio department, and if, just maybe, you don't object to a plot so transparent that you could hold it in the sunlight to make crispy ants, you could be in for a real treat. Maybe.
Liam Neeson (Michael Collins, Rob Roy, Star Wars - Episode 1) is Charlie, a DEA agent, assigned to undercover work crashing a Colombian drug cartel. The only problem is that after a deal goes sour and he finds himself face down in the watermelon when the poop hits the propeller, Charlie has lost his nerve. He just knows that his number is up, and his body rebels. He can't sleep, and his insides keep trying to get outside - the bathroom is his best bud. When he goes to the doctor to try and get some relief, he backs into one Judy Tipp (Sandra Bullock), the perky, upbeat nurse charged with administering Charlie's barium enema. (Yuck it up, kids - this may be the last time I mention "barium enema" without first referring to the mathematical odds of my actually watching an Adam Sandler moovie).
Judy is a sucker for lost causes, falls for the big lug, and decides she can do him more good than any doctor. (Of course, the first thing she does is try to change him.) She teaches Charlie the joys of gardening as therapeutic release, and they proceed to wallow around in the manure together. He's incredulous, she's naked. It's kind of like Dharma and Greg on HGTV. Frankly, I liked the grittier, manure-covered Sandra Bullock. She was one of the co-producers of "Gun Shy", so maybe she's trying to move away from the wide-eyed gee-whizzers that she's played in so many of her moovies. It's time for her to get real, anyway.
Meanwhile, back at the cartel, a big deal is set to go down between the Colombians and the Minetti Crime Family, with Fulvio Nesstra, (Oliver Platt) Don Carmine's (Frank Vincent) incompetent knee-breaker son-in-law stuck squarely in the middle of a double cross between the DEA and the Colombians. .....Wait, you don't need to know all this, or that Charlie winds up in group therapy, or that he gets in touch with his feelings, or that the Colombian bad boys are gay - all you need to know is that the story is predictable, the characters are predictable, and that every possible ethnic stereotype is neatly and equally smeared here, except maybe for Latino-Scotsmen. I've left out a lot of details here, because if I told you everything, I'd have to charge you $7.50 plus $9.25 for the popcorn and the ice-cold bottle of YooHoo.
What makes this moovie fun is, of all people, Liam Neeson - he plays a straight man like the pro he is, and gets an occasional punch line to boot. He gets able help from Oliver Platt, who can play at brainless like he means it, and Mitch Pileggi (Assistant Director Skinner - X-Files) who may never have a role of any kind where he doesn't play a spooky button-down Federal Agent, unless he can convince Sandra Bullock to take him gardening.
Like I told 'ya, you won't walk out of the theater after seeing "Gun Shy", wanting to see it again soon, and you won't marvel at the surprise ending, because there isn't one. "Gun Shy" is good for laughs, and quite a few at that. It's a testament to the writing and directorial skills of Eric Blakeney that this moovie doesn't fall totally flat on its face, but manages to keep holding on until the next joke. If nothing else, Blakeney's sense of timing holds this moovie together. I've seen worse.
I gave "Gun Shy" two cows and bag of manure, just for laughs.
If you can't visualize Liam Neeson as a comic actor, "Gun Shy" might not appeal you. If, however, you can approach this moovie with an open mind, and if, let's say, you don't mind more stereotypes than a KMart audio department, and if, just maybe, you don't object to a plot so transparent that you could hold it in the sunlight to make crispy ants, you could be in for a real treat. Maybe.
Liam Neeson (Michael Collins, Rob Roy, Star Wars - Episode 1) is Charlie, a DEA agent, assigned to undercover work crashing a Colombian drug cartel. The only problem is that after a deal goes sour and he finds himself face down in the watermelon when the poop hits the propeller, Charlie has lost his nerve. He just knows that his number is up, and his body rebels. He can't sleep, and his insides keep trying to get outside - the bathroom is his best bud. When he goes to the doctor to try and get some relief, he backs into one Judy Tipp (Sandra Bullock), the perky, upbeat nurse charged with administering Charlie's barium enema. (Yuck it up, kids - this may be the last time I mention "barium enema" without first referring to the mathematical odds of my actually watching an Adam Sandler moovie).
Judy is a sucker for lost causes, falls for the big lug, and decides she can do him more good than any doctor. (Of course, the first thing she does is try to change him.) She teaches Charlie the joys of gardening as therapeutic release, and they proceed to wallow around in the manure together. He's incredulous, she's naked. It's kind of like Dharma and Greg on HGTV. Frankly, I liked the grittier, manure-covered Sandra Bullock. She was one of the co-producers of "Gun Shy", so maybe she's trying to move away from the wide-eyed gee-whizzers that she's played in so many of her moovies. It's time for her to get real, anyway.
Meanwhile, back at the cartel, a big deal is set to go down between the Colombians and the Minetti Crime Family, with Fulvio Nesstra, (Oliver Platt) Don Carmine's (Frank Vincent) incompetent knee-breaker son-in-law stuck squarely in the middle of a double cross between the DEA and the Colombians. .....Wait, you don't need to know all this, or that Charlie winds up in group therapy, or that he gets in touch with his feelings, or that the Colombian bad boys are gay - all you need to know is that the story is predictable, the characters are predictable, and that every possible ethnic stereotype is neatly and equally smeared here, except maybe for Latino-Scotsmen. I've left out a lot of details here, because if I told you everything, I'd have to charge you $7.50 plus $9.25 for the popcorn and the ice-cold bottle of YooHoo.
What makes this moovie fun is, of all people, Liam Neeson - he plays a straight man like the pro he is, and gets an occasional punch line to boot. He gets able help from Oliver Platt, who can play at brainless like he means it, and Mitch Pileggi (Assistant Director Skinner - X-Files) who may never have a role of any kind where he doesn't play a spooky button-down Federal Agent, unless he can convince Sandra Bullock to take him gardening.
Like I told 'ya, you won't walk out of the theater after seeing "Gun Shy", wanting to see it again soon, and you won't marvel at the surprise ending, because there isn't one. "Gun Shy" is good for laughs, and quite a few at that. It's a testament to the writing and directorial skills of Eric Blakeney that this moovie doesn't fall totally flat on its face, but manages to keep holding on until the next joke. If nothing else, Blakeney's sense of timing holds this moovie together. I've seen worse.
I gave "Gun Shy" two cows and bag of manure, just for laughs.